i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
