I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
