Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
