butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
