im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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