I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
