I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
