So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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