Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize