using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
nutella sex= disaster
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
