The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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