people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
