i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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