3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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