i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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