Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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