You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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