go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
