best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize