ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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