Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
