Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize