Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
