Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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