oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
