the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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