need another drink. this is the easiest way
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
