I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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