he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Couch. On fire.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
