She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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