He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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