the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
there is glitter all over my balls
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
