I wish life had little blips of pornography
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
