My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
