I must be too annoying 4 u.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize