oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
