that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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