Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
