It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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