Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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