so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
