yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
