He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
