you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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