she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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