found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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