just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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