all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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