She is in my trunk
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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