I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
