i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
