you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
