I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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