We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize