We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
