you win again, gameday.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
