Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
