Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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