you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize