Cold hands, warm shart.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
