Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
