My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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