we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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