I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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