Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
