Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
