What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
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