i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
