My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
