He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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