doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
