Buhtt sex?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Semen is not good for contacts.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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