piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
