Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
